Everything We Never Had describes four Filipino men’s lives and the ways they navigate the challenges they are faced with. It is a multi-generational story following four men: Francisco, Emil, Chris, and Enzo, each from four different time periods.
Francisco deals with the experience of coming to the US in the 1930’s with the promise of prosperity and freedom, and being met with the harsh reality of racism, discrimination, and exploitation in the work force. All he wants is a way to earn enough money to support himself as well as to provide for his family back in the Philippines, but is unable due to the mass exploitation of immigrant workers.
Emil is Francisco’s son, who greatly resents his father for never being around and barely providing for their family. Francisco is a labor organizer, and is almost always busy with activism and giving speeches to his followers that he neglects giving Emil any attention. Emil is determined to be nothing like his father, so he places all his focus into his studies and into his job in order to help provide for his family. Despite experiencing the challenges of school life in the 1960’s as a Pilipino boy, with the abundance of racism from his classmates, he places faith in his own resolve. Emil aspires to go to college and make enough money to support his own family one day.
Chris is Emil’s son, living through his high school years in the 1980’s, who is frustrated at his father’s abrasive and overbearing nature. Suffocating his curiosity and passion for football as a missing assignment about family heritage causes Emil to prevent him from participating on his school’s team anymore. Emil was determined to culturally assimilate to US ideals, and neglected to teach Chris anything about his heritage and family, which ignited Chris’s fascination with the Philippines and it’s rich history. Chris gets more and more angry at Emil’s refusal to even acknowledge their heritage, as Chris’s passionate rants about history are cut short because Emil deems it “unimportant.” Chris vows to not be like his father and raise his family with love for their heritage and support for them to be who they want to be.
Enzo in Chris’s son, he in a very sensitive and anxious person, and has a hard time adapting to change, so when COVID-19 starts hitting the US in 2020, his parents offer to host his lolo (Grandfather) Emil at their house because he is more at risk at a retirement home. Enzo is forced to give up his room and reluctantly share his living space with an barely familiar face. His relationship with his lolo is strained at best, Chris and Emil never really made up, so the dynamics are full of animosity. But things start to get better when Enzo begins to join walks with Emil and his dog, and they start to connect with stories from their lives. Enzo desperately wishes to mend Chris and Emil’s relationship, but as more history between the two surfaces, it seems harder and harder a task to complete.
This story emphasizes father-son relationships, and how certain behaviors continue to repeat themselves through multiple generations of a family, as well as the efforts to break negative habits. It really portrays how people are products of their environments, and how heavily-implemented thought-processes are often hard to break.
I loved Everything We Never Had, it felt so refreshing to read a book where the focus was on family relationships rather than friendship or romantic ones. I feel like a lot of YA literature focuses a lot on dynamics between similarly aged individuals that I was pleasantly surprised with the depth that this book went into on how parental relationships affect someone, and how people from different generations interact.
My one complaint is the fact that there are a few plot holes. Since there are multiple POVs, I get that it can be challenging to answer every question that the plot presents, but it just left me feeling slightly unsatisfied at the end of the book when I realized I still had many questions. I feel like the story was very short, and that a little extra after the final chapters for each character would’ve gone a long way for my enjoyment.
I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys stories with multiple POV’s, or stories that focus on the depth of family dynamics.